Although “Ten” was the second book I published, it was actually written before the first one that did come out, “Once”. Both titles were published by Rumbo Editorial – “Once” in 2009, and “Ten” in 2010.
When interviewed in the media, I am invariably asked why did I publish them out of order.
The simple answer is that “Ten” is a book that has no palliatives, whereas “Once” (owing to its free structure and multiple endings) is a book from which something positive can effectively be construed.
I think that the two compositions I have included below exemplify that. They come from the two final sections of the book, “Vicinity” and “Distance”. These turn “Ten” into “an exorcism and an outright damnation”, as I say in the preface.
I think these two compositions pay a clear debt to albums like “The Who By Numbers”, “All The Best Cowboys Have Chinese Eyes” and also an album I greatly like from an artist that (generally) I’m not really that fond of: “Blood On The Tracks” by Bob Dylan.
So, without further preambles… “I Hurt You” and “You Lie”.
I Hurt You
I leave you because I don’t want to desert you
I decompose you because I love you intact
I say nothing because I love how you react –
I hurt you because I didn’t want to hurt you
I lead you because I don’t want to divert you
I tug at your heart because I love you unmoved
I love the absence of all you never removed –
I hurt you because I didn’t want to hurt you
And you longed for morn-like brilliance when I longed for the night
And I longed for occurrences when you longed for respite
I prod you because I don’t want to convert you
I motivate you because I love you inert
I love the deep silence whenever you assert –
I hurt you because I didn’t want to hurt you
I leave you because I don’t want to desert you
I decompose you because I love you intact
I say nothing because I love how you react –
I hurt you because I didn’t want to hurt you
You Lie
You lie splendidly and I love to believe you
And I tell the truth for I want to deceive you
I’ll bear the brunt of this retardation
You lie surreptitiously and I observe it
I have nothing left and I want to preserve it
Then I ponder on this situation
And I don’t know if I should love it or hate it
All that I know is that you facilitate it
You lie without reason and I justify it
I can see where this leads – still I ratify it
I like to savour this degradation
You lie brazenly and I congratulate you
I watch in awe and I want to emulate you
Then I ponder on this situation
And I’m uncertain if I exaggerate it
All that I know is that you facilitate it
And you lie and I never want to reproach you
But I feel the friction, and when I approach you
I lack all valour and I lack all tact
And you lie in the dirt for that’s where you belong
And I’m right beside you as I vomit this song
And it comes tumbling like a cataract
And I wonder if someone can terminate it
Cancel, void, nullify or invalidate it
Displace, banish, extinguish or dissipate it
All that I know is that you facilitate it
“i hurt you” is very moving, emilio. these are both beautifully written.